Wednesday, October 4, 2017

A Prayer for Peace

Lord, make me an instrument of Your peace.
 Where there is hatred, let me sow love;
 where there is injury, pardon; 
where there is doubt, faith;
 where there is despair, hope; 
where there is darkness, light;
 where there is sadness, joy.

O, Divine Master, grant that I may not so much seek to be consoled as to console; to be understood as to understand; to be loved as to love; For it is in giving that we receive; it is in pardoning that we are pardoned; it is in dying that we are born again to eternal life.

Tuesday, October 3, 2017

A Day Well Spent

Optimal October 2,2017
11:55pm

Today is one of those days I wish I had 5 hours more.

So many things in my to do list that barely got even a dent.

Hmmmm…do I declare it a wasted day?

Hearing the girls singing with much gusto in the next room after our goodnights seems to be something good!

The little one telling me about her wish…with a but at the beginning…”only if it is according to God’s will” wants to have a complete set of  Frozen( the Movie) dolls.

Tells me she got her priorities on track.

Marina dutifully reminding her sister to obey first before complaining because it is part of the commandments to children…warms my heart and cools my almost always impatient top.

A day well spent is when both the pursuits of academics are balanced off with the condition of the heart and the requirements of the home and all the members in it. Common and individual goals hand in hand, not letting go or giving up on any.

I have learned to use one word instructions than to give long winding instructions after the 3rd attempt to make them do what I am asking them.

The advise is working! Hurrah!

So, yes, even if it was a challenge to count my blessings to number ten…I declare it was a day well spent!

The small note on my bed from small fingers is evidence to such wonderful blessings that keep my arms full every time we need our hugs.

So…I should not take my TO DO LIST so seriously…after all, if I want to earn my angel wings…I have to take my temporal accomplishments with a grain of salt…and not take my stature as a leader or a teacher too heavily..

Like angels…they can fly because they do not have much ego or pride to weigh them down too much.





Sunday, October 1, 2017

OPTIMUS PRIME I AM

Optimal October
10:55pm


I was about to check my white board on the adjective I put for my October schedule diary, but, I hesitated.
Optimal popped out as I began typing this blog.
Sounds like Optimus Prime…hmmm.
Optimal it is.
Highly favorable.
Desirable!
Yes!
I claim this month to be the most auspicious month ever!
Indeed, this is a month of positive transformations!
Thank you God!
Thank you!

Tonight, I want to focus my thoughts on the following challenging lines:

…when we separate, we confuse. When we simply distinguish, we clarify. And when we clarify, we can integrate.(J.Jason)


I am pulling it out from the context that I read it.

Let me see if I can arrive at a pleasant understanding of it.

When we separate we confuse.

When we distinguish we clarify.

When we clarify, we can integrate.

Can these concepts be applied to any idea or situations?

Let us see.

Recently, a person close to me said, we are like oil and water. We cannot mix.

That being so…it does not mean that we have to be at odds or butt heads all the time. We can agree to complement and enrich each other’s lives.

We can agree to disagree if we can…but simply avoid hot button issues where we know where each other stands.

We have to avoid rubbing each other the wrong way, for by now, we know how the other ticks.

Thus, the best way that we can enrich each other is to be there for each other when one needs our help.

We should always be there to help.

Nothing more or less than the intent to help.

Not on how we want to help…but how the person needs our help.

Trouble often arises when we dictate on the person in need of our help how we wish to help.

Sometimes, our help is not needed actually…but just our listening ear or presence.

Thus, when people need money from me…it is either, I give what I am ready to lose…or really explain my financial situation and tell the person this is how I can help.

If it is not taken or appreciated…then, I dust of my hands and pray for the other person.

Usually, spiritual gifts are most noble and effective.

Sometimes, cannot be seen at once…but in the long run more helpful.

CLARIFYING our capacity to help and then INTEGRATING in our thoughts and hearts the person’s need that with prayer and best wishes and hopes, everything will fall into place.

At times, the tendency to exclude or remove from our midst or thoughts or intents the person who needs our help…is a very comfortable place for us…out of sight, out of mind.

But, when we share in the person’s situation by praying for it earnestly and wholeheartedly…we can safely say that we have integrated his/her life at the most vulnerable point with our own journey.

Easier said…than done.

But with the right attitude and intent…not impossible.

Exclusion is when we absolutely separate one from another like oil and water. It can sometimes justify our tendency to be minimalists. Integration is when we understand that one is distinct from the other but they are nevertheless reconcilable and is actually ordered to one another. They are meant to complement and enrich one another. (J.Jason)


Saturday, September 30, 2017

END OF SEPTEMBER


11:20PM


I am about to embark again in my nth attempt to become a better me in 30 days or so. Yeah, at almost 50, one would think that I had it all together.
Not quite.
Things seem to be literally and figuratively fraying in the seams. Bulging at the lines and falling apart.
I just recently advised someone who was yelling for help. She was in an all time low.
I could not just say, my emotional roller coaster has been spinning in dizzying speeds, dropping from all time high to lows in split seconds.
Have I conquered my sugar intake? No!
Have I exercised regularly? No!
Have I earned an honest day's wage? No!
Have I realized my bestest self? _______


In a 24 hour....perhaps,only 3 hours of my waking moments!

Well, let me restrain myself just a bit here and count my blessings instead and tell my self that the BLUES will pass. I  am so BLESSED TO BE STRESSED.

As I end September I thank my Lord and my Maker for the following blessings:

1. The opportunity to be under one roof with my family in this host country.
2. The regular income of my husband.
3. The opportunity to home school my kids
4. Family and friends who took the time to greet me for my birthday.
5. This beautiful house we call home.
6. The opportunity to write my thoughts down.
7. The many learning opportunities that come along that challenges me to be a better person each day.
8. The chance to correct my wrongs each day as I greet a new day.
9.The love of my husband and daughters
10. The best friend I have in me.


Friday, September 29, 2017

Happy 48th Birthday!

Yes!
I turned a new  chapter in my life.
Hopefully, my intent to blog everyday will prove true and worthy.
So, how does it feel to be 48?
I felt hopeful and optimistic.
But then, when I learned that a good friend, who is much younger than I succumbed to heart failure due to several blockages in her arteries on my birthday...it kinda put a dampen on my days.
I suffered from perhaps an anxiety headache from Tuesday night to Wednesday night.
By God's grace come Thursday morning...it was gone.
Praise God!
A new day. 
A new lease in life.
I broke my Facebook fast for a few days because I needed to contact my deceased friend's family.
Then, a good ole classmate from elementary greeted me belatedly...and thus, I had to reply.
From one greeting to the next.
I have this irritating habit of having to thank each and every post or greeting.
Anyway, irritating or not, gratitude is never going  out of style in my book.
So, here I go again...trying to make sense of life's uncertainties and twists and turns.
This morning, a blog  presented itself to me about finding home.
I was trying to wrack my brains on how I got myself  subscribed to this lady's blog.
It was funny to trace it back to 2013 June.
Her blog's are still very interesting.
She seems to be making lots of travels and enjoying it so much.
I was comparing her photo of 2013 and her latest...and it seems, she has grown much younger.
Way to go girl!
Kudos!
Today, I had to check out Joy Tanchi Mendoza to get some lift and sure got it.
She reminded me to get my center from my Creator, who has made me lovely because He loves me.
He does not love me because I am lovely...but, I am loved by Him, that is why I am lovely.
I may not be so lovable all of the time...but, I know, His Mercy and Grace will suffice.


Thursday, June 22, 2017

CALLING OUT A BULLY POSING AS A TROLL



This morning I am still bristling at a supposed unintended computer glitch , an anomaly, a phenomenon without  practical nor a  reasonable explanation. Perhaps a  Facebook virus that has somehow flagged my thank you to a greeting as a SPAM.

Before confronting person B about it, I inquired from person A (the sponsor of the post) about how I was notified that my comment was marked as such.

It took a while for person A to react owing to the time difference of the people involved.

But, left with our own devices to find out how to mark a comment as a SPAM…my daughter and I learned the steps. It is different for a desktop user to an android or iphone user. It definitely is not a single CLICK.

Why am I not keeping quiet about this? Simply because…BULLIES abound.

They have different ways of making you  feel  IRRELEVANT OR INSIGNIFICANT with a downright INSULT blanketed in the guise of  INCREDULOUSNESS or ANONYMITY.

A famous quote reminds us that you will not feel INSECURE or DISRESPECTED without giving the CULPRIT the permission to.
Exactly why I chose to call out his/her/it’s blatant disregard for decency and civility.

I do not demand that they LIKE me…just DO NOT STRIKE OFFENSIVELY.

I would more incline to adhere to the saying, “If you cannot help, at least do not hurt.”

I cried aloud OUCH as a reminder. Hey, you have stepped on my dignity, maybe you have not realized it.

Each person reading the situation will have his or her opinion about it.

We are all entitled to it.

I do not have control over that…but, the only control I have is not to participate in the MALICE or INTENT of the tag.

No matter how I look at it…being  labeled as a nuisance, irrelevant or irritation is far from correct or right. It is an arrow of hate with a noose attached.

Perhaps, I have such a big head and ego as a twin.

But…I know that an INSULT is the weapon of a coward posing as a TROLL.

A BULLY hiding behind  what? The truth?

“To fail to love someone in any of these situations is failing in kindness. But, to say nothing or to not be honest with people is false kindness.  In some cases, we may literally be killing them with kindness of this sort. Jesus told us not to judge (people). But, he also obligated us to address harmful behaviors and told us that “The Truth will set you free” (Jn 8:32). 

BE ANGRY BUT DO NOT SIN

Tuesday, May 2, 2017

Homeschooling 101: Building Self Esteem and Social Media

Homeschooling 101: Self Esteem and Social Media

Yesterday, marked 6 days being back in the land of sands after being out for 42 days.

It was  nice to be back, and just like the girls words, it felt like truly coming home…and I wondered how it would feel like when the time comes to leave.

Anyway, due to over fatigue and  headache, I had to cancel going to a very important event for Marina.

Somehow, I am trying  to see  a silver lining in it.

Trying to remain positive with your well laid plans and intentions is tough.

It is more challenging when things get derailed.

While communicating with several persons over at Whatsapp… I browsed through FB.  Coincidentally, there were a lot of news feeds about taking care of ones health. A clear sign for my intention supposedly  numero uno.

And for the nth time,  just the day before as well, I swore to avoid lurking on FB because a piece of news bothered me endlessly. Making me feel that social media especially FB is really bad for the health.

I found this piece of information confirming this realization and stand to avoid it like the plague for the meantime.


People may like you or not because of your exposure (over or not)  in social media.

They can actually make things more tough because of what your said or did not say.

And this issue of LIKES is so  not likeable at all.

It is addictive enough that your well being is attached to it. Tsk tsk.

Good luck to me on my stand of  abstaining from it once more.

 May it help my daughters have a better formation of their self esteem.




Sunday, February 19, 2017

Homeschooling 101: When the going gets tough, the kind and loving gets moving!

February 19,2017
5:54am

The washing machine is humming a hypnotic sound in the background of just 2 items.
I woke up around 230am to pee and was not able to go back to sleep anymore with lots of thoughts running around in my mind.
Thus at almost 5, I was having a throbbing headache.
I had to get up again to drink some water and 2 soft gel capsules of Arctic Sea.
The Korean beef I ingested yesterday made me feel woozy. The soda too aggravated the situation.
Anyway, today, I am being inspired, reluctantly  to  focus my attention and words on the following in respect to  teaching my children:

In a scale of 1 to 10, how do you rate your endurance for personal experiences of being persecuted, rejected, marginalized and ostracized? What was so far your worst experience in line with these?

After attending a Counseling Course each night for the past 2 weeks, I have come face to face with a syndrome which I  already coined a term for before during my adolescent stage.

 A year ago,  a more technical term came into my knowledge and this week saw me diving into it all the more.

I researched a bit into TMAU or otherwise known as Trimethylaminuria.

It is a case that affects a certain percentage of a given population and this is believed to be due to the inability of the body to metabolize a certain compound in food which gets lodged in a person’s intestines and find it’s way to a person’s sweat, breath etc.

I called it my skunk syndrome and this has made me experience a thousand deaths each day when it is triggered usually accompanying high anxiety situations.

To answer the above question, the scale would  almost be a very low 1.

So far, each situation ushers in a variety of  depth and gravity of bullying…and to rise above it each time victorious is the challenge.

To wallow  in self pity and recrimination and self hate and anger makes it almost impossible  to get up.

Well meaning suggestions of  “ Do not worry or think about it!” do not help at all because it makes me feel more frustrated to say the least.

Anyway,  somehow, each day, I try my best to be a better person in overcoming my negativity towards those who make my life miserable due to this condition. I pray for them. I continue doing good by being nice or kind to them even if I feel like just wishing them ill.

Turning the other cheek. Walking the extra mile even when you do not wish to go on anymore.

As a mother to my 2 homeschoolers, I do not hide from them my vulnerability and show them how invincible I am.

No,  it is precisely through these moments, I show them, that I need someone greater than all of these.

Someone who has overcome sin and death and  still blessed His  persecutors.

Each time an insult is hurled toward me, I try to just lift up the situation to my Savior, who just is waiting for me  to do just that, then a certain kind of peace and joy replaces the  pain and the hurt, sometimes, slowly, but definitely surely.

There was once a lady who followed my youngest and I to the bathroom recently, and even before we could cover our mouths as we just had to fix something quickly, she pulls out her  deo and sprayed on herself generously which somehow found its way to our nostrils and mouth. We just  barely stepped in the door and she grabs into her bag and  pulls her top loosely and SPRAY SPRAY SPRAY as if there was no more tomorrow.

We were hoping that she could have used one of the available cubicles…but no, she had to make a statement  right there by the door to show me what an antiperspirant is for.

And you’d think the bully had a sublime teaching moment for me.

There is the rub.

I will close with a youtube link of a girl named Erika Hubbard, who has perfectly verbalized how it is to be affected by this syndrome.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NuRyWOmm4so


And on a more positive note:


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2KsfwvpcQhY






Saturday, February 18, 2017

HomeSchooling 101: When Words Hurt

February 18,2017
11:26am

The breakfast is not totally cleared from our wooden dining table.
Yesterday’s bags and activities are visible from one of the sofa and the bench.
My plants are awaiting my attention.
My bed is still unkempt same with the kid’s.
My first laundry for the day is impatiently beckoning to me.
Mayo is near my foot while I took a breather to check my email momentarily.
Ruel and the girls are in Radisson Blu for Lilli’s ballet.
I noticed a message that led me to Joy again.
A few days ago, an acquaintance introduced her to me through a scary story.
I looked her up again the following day. Very briefly.
I marveled and praise God for her resilience over a traumatic event in her life.
Now, she is being reintroduced to me again through this email message regarding a Middle
East Homeschooling conference to be held in Dubai.
Their name caught my attention.
It turns out to be the same Joy’s story that was brought to my awareness just the other day.
Now, I am able to check out her blog.
I just read her entry of February 1 about hurtful words and how to choose our words and timing wisely and to edify and not to cause death.
Whew!
What a powerful thought.
Hopefully, after today, I will resurrect my blogging pursuits one more time and continue reaping the joy I get out of it, not for that alone, but to continue keeping my goals focused on the more important priorities I need to  tackle more than anything else that try to compete for my time and energy.
Yesterday was packed and I praise and thank God for the opportunity to do what I needed to do.


Wednesday, January 4, 2017

Home Schooling 101: What makes you come alive?

January 4,2016
11:23am

This will have to be short and snappy.
My daughter Marina just told me what I wanted to hear after 4 days being so immersed in the Qatar Exxon Mobil Open. Hurrah!
Watching players close hand. Taking photos with Stepanek in the steps while he was waiting for us to lift the chain for him and his girlfriend to pass to go to the bleachers.
Marina and I got the chance to read Vasek Pospisil’s biography and I marveled at the journey it takes to conquer challenges while attaining one’s goals in life.
I will write more in depth as soon as my duty is done by tomorrow.

All I know, watching the game makes me feel so alive!

Tuesday, January 3, 2017

Home Schooling 101: Work Ethic VS Insatiable Wants

Jan.3, 2017
8:40am

What a wonderful day yesterday!

95% of the targets were accomplished and most important of all, the grace and the opportunity to be  child like with my children.

Marina was so excited to show me photos of  her with several tennis celebrities.

Marcelina kept saying, “ Mama, I so miss you.”

She understood that Mom had to go back to work and  Mom has to clock in attendance.

She saw me do what I needed to do even if I was bone tired coming home .


Marina was a bit challenged in this department that I had to remind her that Mama still has more chores to do before calling it a night.


Here is a very nice video about it:


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z5avVsKjNyo








Monday, January 2, 2017

Home Schooling 101: Bring your kids to work day!

January 2,2016
9:58am

Today, Marina wants to come along with me to the  Qatar Exxon Mobile Open. She is excited to spot Tennis personalities and stars.

I hope that we will meet some contacts I have established for her to be able to see what a Ball Kid does and be excited and eager to sign up as well for the next tournament.

The gift and the grace to do an honest  day of work is something wonderful to pass on to them at this point.

This is  where we need to be and we shall stop trying to be where we think we should be and enjoy the moment.

I asked her yesterday to draw up her plans for the new year , month to month and we shall align them to mine.

I am so happy and grateful that all the requests I had for them were accomplished for New Year’s eve preparations.

Traditional 12 fruit basket.

Red ribbon grapes on each door arch.

Marina cooked Bibingka in muffin pans.

Ruel and Marcelina enjoyed making the Palitaw.

I am off now to prepare for my 3rd official day with the tennis open. I hope I can get a photo with Novac and  Murray.

Yes, here we go!


 "Every job is a SELF PORTRAIT of the person who does it. Autograph your work with EXCELLENCE."





Sunday, January 1, 2017

Home Schooling 101: A Social Experiment

Joyful January 1,2017
9:37am

It is the first day of the brand New Year 2017.
I am so grateful for this quiet time with my thoughts.
The washing machine is merrily humming away.
My youngest is on the sofa drinking her first bottle of milk.
My eldest does not like to get up yet despite my gentle prodings.
We woke up at 12 midnight to greet the New Year with a prayer and some spaghetti and grapes and longgan.
Today will be a holiday for them.
Today will be a 2nd working day for me.
After 3  years attempting to, I have finally signed up to assist in the Qatar Tennis Open. I handle the chains to the Section A audience bleachers in Court 1.
After so many years of not having a job outside the house, I finally am experiencing a 6 day occasional job.
Hurrah!
I have diluted and sifted  several reasons why I want to do this.
One of which is this: Children sometimes do not learn from verbal sermons and instructions and preachings and naggings…They have to see you model them.
Perhaps, you can say, it is a social experiment for me to learn from and show my children that no matter how lowly or simple a task or a job you are given…how are you going to value and do it?
I believe that there is no lowly or lofty job.
A CEO is no different to the cleaning lady in the restrooms.
So, how do we really treat them or view them?

Friends, today is the first day of the year. We don’t know what lies ahead. But one thing I know for sure — God wants you to climb your mountain.

       He wants you to keep on growing, to be wiser, to be more loving, to be better, and to be even more blessed.(B. Sanchez)