Thursday, February 9, 2012

Dog Scraps...Stumbling Blocks or Stepping Stones

In today’s gospel, the faith of a woman is expressed in the following words: “ Lord, even the dogs eat the scraps of food from the children’s food under the table.”
Very hopeful.
I have been avoiding FB like the plague lately because it can consume my depleting energy and time.
Somehow, I had to communicate with a friend regarding something urgent. The news that met me was a bit thought provoking.
I seemed pigued.
I felt empty.
I felt hungry.
I felt unhappy.
I still want to thank the Lord for this feelings of desolation cause I feel and believe that I am being emptied to be filled. I am made hungry so I can be fed. I am experiencing sadness to savour happiness fully.
This are the temporary spells that will spell fulfilment in the fullness of God’s time.
Thank you.

Wednesday, February 8, 2012

Pride & Prejudice

Binibining Hypokrita
That was my character in a high school play I was made to join. It was one of the baptisms of fire I experienced. You see, I detest being in the spotlight. I abhorred being on stage for anything. My fright was so sky bound.
Somehow, I managed.
Whenever I look back at pictures of the event, I still cringe in embarrassment.
My hairdo was terrible.
My slip was literally showing.
I was not comfortable at all. Maybe I was not able to be true to the character. I dunno. Perhaps to some, I was authentic. Depends on what glasses they were wearing .
Lately, I was admonished by my always disapproving sisters.
I shared to them about an incident where I let it all hang out again.
I said, I am a very revealing person. In terms of facial expression etc. Without a word, my thoughts and feelings do really shine through.
It would really be duplicity and super plasticity if I pretended otherwise.
So, I merely went on ahead and acknowledge that what had been experienced was unpalatable to say the least. Thus being said, these and these are my other thoughts and feelings.
Again. Perhaps, my sisters could not understand me. And maybe just shook their heads in desperation and frustration at me.
It made me feel good to be one with what I felt, thought and said.
Yesterday’s readings had something to do with the hypocritical attitudes of the Pharisees who judged the people joining Jesus for a meal with unclean hands. Jews had so many rules in almost everything, washing hands and utensils included.
Yesterday was quite a challenging day. I had to deal with some pressing financial issues that head to be dealt head on.
Unfortunately, here came 2 people, one after the other, knocking on my door asking for help.
I dunno why I seem to be a magnet for mendicants?
Here I go explaining to them my predicament rather than shoving them away like pesky flies.
I was quite frazzled later on.
They somehow thought I was lying.
Well, I was sobered by the thought of last Sunday’s homily.
The priest said, it is better, that you are in the position of be able to help than of the person in dire need of help.
Actually, there is the rub.
I do need help. A whole lot. And these people think, I am not being true to them.
Hmmmm….do I need to put on tattered clothes to show them what I meant?
Maybe not so extreme. Besides these are some of the small stuff I should not sweat over.
Tall order.
How about people who ignore you and hurt you in the process?
Give them a dose of their own medicine.
Perhaps without saying a word, they will realize their folly.
Perhaps…maybe not, if they are so wrapped up in their prejudices and judgement.
With that, I breathe out.
Ah Ohmmmmmmm…..

Monday, February 6, 2012


Today’s gospel reading tells us about Jesus’ healing presence. The mere touch of his clothes tassel brought efficacy and healing for those who sought healing and wholeness.
These past several days…I have been in much want.
Time and energy runs out on me as quickly as water in sand.
I have to then prioritize things.
Seeking God’s abiding presence in my own prayer time is such a challenge. That I do have to find the discipline and effort to carve it in my schedule.
I now bask in His presence.
Jesus was a crowd drawer and traffic stopper everywhere He went as He did His business.
People were drawn to Him.
Before, when we went to the celebration of the Holy Mass, it meant fasting for at least an hour before and putting on our Sunday’s best. But these days, not so much maybe. Mass goers can done some walking shorts and some sneakers and they’re good to go.
One cannot judge the book by it’s cover though. Yesterday, I came in at Homily time already, pushing my baby’s stroller with her still half dazed with sleep and the bumpy and almost rapid ride to church. You see, it is quite challenging to prepare with a baby in tow.
Sometimes, I wish and pray for a full time maid. Hmmm… sometimes.
Anyway, my collar was still half folded around my neckline…sheepishly, I had to fix it in the early minutes of us zooming in and finding the nearest available seat. Good, we got one near the window and a good spot with a strong electric fan.
So? Do I reflect the Holy presence of Jesus in my daily round?
There is the rub.
Jesus, I seek you.
Jesus, abide in me.
So, I can bring your healing presence in all my tasks and especially within my home where my daughters and husband may see You in me.
Emmanuel, Jesus, I trust in You.

Wednesday, February 1, 2012

To Win or To Win Over?

To Win or To Win Over ? To Eliminate the Enemy or to Eliminate Enmity?

The other night, my husband and I just quietly observed and rejoiced over our 10th year anniversary as partners for life.
The following day, yesterday, my youngest daughter turned 8 months.
My by line for my eldest was: Lilli is 8, Mari is 9, Dad & I are 10. We are 8,9 and 10.
Neat row of numbers.
But life is seldom neat.
Oh, how I wish it was always like a glossy cover of a Interior Design Magazine.
But, the snags and tears of day to day living do make us ragged.
In fact, physical stress is already taking it’s toll, what more for emotional issues that really burden.
Lilli woke me up early for her bottle.
And I thought of doing my Kerygma Bible guide and reflection. Only Jan.31 was available.
The skies in the horizon are cloudy and grey.
Tsk. A reflection of my harried soul.
This moments of “alone time” is quite a luxury.
My to do list is quite formidable. Baby care and house work do really demand time and attention…and the rest are relegated for the later when time and extra energy permits.
The pesky alarm turned on.
Baby Lilli is now crying for attention.
Let me try to ignore her a bit.
Last night, I brought her up early to bed as soon as she fell asleep.
Mari and I were sharing the laptop screen with some barney video and my backlog EDR 210 Lessons.
Lilli interrupted us with her groans and moans. She did not cry. She just changed her position and tried to beckon for us with her unusual sounds.
Okey. She has stopped cry. It wasn’t the full blown COME HERE NOW type anyway. Just the one two type that says where art thou?
Just in the next door room my dear.
Thanks for giving me this moments to clear my head and heart.
So thus here I go:
I forgive quite a number of people for playing with my emotions which has involved my young ones. I forgive you and forget this incident. In Jesus might name.
I forgive E for her snobbery and indifference. In Jesus mighty name, let the enmity be eliminated for the nth time.
I forgive P,J, D, W for ignoring my plea. I forgive you in Jesus mighty name.
I forgive M for being so unwieldy and stubborn. I forgive you in Jesus mighty name.
Finally, I forgive myself for my string of failures. I forgive you for not living up to my diet resolve. I forgive you for entertaining a mild health scare just for you to go on a regulated rice intake diet.
I forgive you for getting into a financial mess with a credit card company that finds ways to really skin you alive.
Thank God we are out of it.
I forgive you for being a little green, not the positive kind, and giving in to the gloating and jealousy targeted actions of some people that try to rub it into you that you are part of the “have not” phase. In Jesus mighty name, I forgive and let go.
The mighty glorious sun is once again streaming into this east window.
Timing is just perfect.
I feel the Lord’s wonderful healing touch permeating into every pore of my body. Ridding me of tough psychic toxins. Enveloping me with his love and blessings as I let go and Let God take over.
Jesus let me win over enmity that has taken a thresh hold in my heart over my not so amiable relations.
The way of God’s kingdom is to win over by reason, dialogue and love. Winning over also “eliminates” the enemy because it resolves the enmity, and so the enemy is transformed into a friend.Fr. Joel Jason

REFLECTION QUESTIONS: In resolving your conflicts with others, do you try to win or to win over? Do you try to eliminate your enemy or the enmity?

Lord Jesus, Prince of peace, transform my heart after the pattern of Your own heart. Amen.(Kerygma Bible Guide and Reflection, January 31,2012)