The washing machine is humming a hypnotic sound in the background of just 2 items.
I woke up around 230am to pee and was not able to go back to sleep anymore with lots of thoughts running around in my mind.
Thus at almost 5, I was having a throbbing headache.
I had to get up again to drink some water and 2 soft gel capsules of Arctic Sea.
The Korean beef I ingested yesterday made me feel woozy. The soda too aggravated the situation.
Anyway, today, I am being inspired, reluctantly to focus my attention and words on the following in respect to teaching my children:
In a scale of 1 to 10, how do you rate your endurance for personal experiences of being persecuted, rejected, marginalized and ostracized? What was so far your worst experience in line with these?
After attending a Counseling Course each night for the past 2 weeks, I have come face to face with a syndrome which I already coined a term for before during my adolescent stage.
A year ago, a more technical term came into my knowledge and this week saw me diving into it all the more.
I researched a bit into TMAU or otherwise known as Trimethylaminuria.
It is a case that affects a certain percentage of a given population and this is believed to be due to the inability of the body to metabolize a certain compound in food which gets lodged in a person’s intestines and find it’s way to a person’s sweat, breath etc.
I called it my skunk syndrome and this has made me experience a thousand deaths each day when it is triggered usually accompanying high anxiety situations.
To answer the above question, the scale would almost be a very low 1.
So far, each situation ushers in a variety of depth and gravity of bullying…and to rise above it each time victorious is the challenge.
To wallow in self pity and recrimination and self hate and anger makes it almost impossible to get up.
Well meaning suggestions of “ Do not worry or think about it!” do not help at all because it makes me feel more frustrated to say the least.
Anyway, somehow, each day, I try my best to be a better person in overcoming my negativity towards those who make my life miserable due to this condition. I pray for them. I continue doing good by being nice or kind to them even if I feel like just wishing them ill.
Turning the other cheek. Walking the extra mile even when you do not wish to go on anymore.
As a mother to my 2 homeschoolers, I do not hide from them my vulnerability and show them how invincible I am.
No, it is precisely through these moments, I show them, that I need someone greater than all of these.
Someone who has overcome sin and death and still blessed His persecutors.
Each time an insult is hurled toward me, I try to just lift up the situation to my Savior, who just is waiting for me to do just that, then a certain kind of peace and joy replaces the pain and the hurt, sometimes, slowly, but definitely surely.
There was once a lady who followed my youngest and I to the bathroom recently, and even before we could cover our mouths as we just had to fix something quickly, she pulls out her deo and sprayed on herself generously which somehow found its way to our nostrils and mouth. We just barely stepped in the door and she grabs into her bag and pulls her top loosely and SPRAY SPRAY SPRAY as if there was no more tomorrow.
We were hoping that she could have used one of the available cubicles…but no, she had to make a statement right there by the door to show me what an antiperspirant is for.
And you’d think the bully had a sublime teaching moment for me.
There is the rub.
I will close with a youtube link of a girl named Erika Hubbard, who has perfectly verbalized how it is to be affected by this syndrome.
And on a more positive note:
And on a more positive note: