It is mom’s 78th birthday today.
I have been avoiding writing about her lately because, missing her is a bit painful this year. Why? Well, suffice it to say, that these are the times, I would need a mother’s presence and words most .
I cannot help celebrating the month of September without remembering or honoring my mother’s memory.
September is also the nativity month of my powerful , spiritual mother, Our Blessed Lady.
It is not easy.
I am bombarded with thoughts and consideration of the inevitable, our own, my own mortality.
I just realized again, with much regret and remorse, that we do not know the time or the manner, but, death, is most certain.
The picture and gruesome news of how some people were robbed of their life, has left me, quite shaken to the core.
It is quite an insecure and uncomforting thought.
That is why, I seek comfort and refuge, that my Lord and my Savior, has conquered death for me, already.
The battle has been won.
I simply have to make my decision, to follow with faith, hope and love safely tucked in my heart , mind and soul.
A few weeks ago, by chance, a book fell into my lap and it has signaled the theme of my blog today.
Mitch Ablom’s For One More Day.
What if we are given a chance to spend one more day with a lost love one, how would we spend it?
What are the questions we would ask?
What are the places and activities we would do?
Oh how I long to snuggle in bed with my mom.
Spend quiet times with her.
Listen to the beating of her heart.
Hold her arms and hands.
Cherish the visible veins in her hands with all the years of child care for 9 kids.
Wonder how painful the swelling of her uric acid build up in the tips of her fingers that has given her the trade mark shape. Like tamarind shells.
Last year, around October, I was blessed to see her in a dream. She was all smiles. She was most radiant.
Oh, how, I long to see her that way again.
To see her beam over her grandchildren.
To update her of their growth milestones.
I would love for her to listen to her namesake, Marcelina or Lilli, who, exclaimed, the other day, at McDonalds play area, much to the delight of her Ate, “ Oh, this is just so interesting!” mimicking her favorite pig, Peppa!
I am sure, mom would be super pleased at how her Marina loves to hear stories of her. How she loves the crossword puzzle. How she loves to read and how her granddaughter pursues these linguistic pleasures as well.
And, maybe, how she would gently remind me of my figure. I have not yet been serious about one of her last directives to me, to maintain a pleasing shape.
And, how, I would bask in her non-critical encouragement to take care of myself better.
Knowing, without the need to hear the words, that she truly loves me, just for being me.
Mom, thank you.
I so miss you!