Feb.16,2011
5:45 am.
Today, I woke up very early in the morning. The face of my wristwatch tells me 4am. I was trying to sense why I woke up early again. Then...I had 2 thoughts. One was scary...I kept eyeing the window I left open. The other one...forbidden. Equally scary enough.
I wanted to write some thoughts on print.
I hesitated. Too early to get up.
Then my thoughts kept on detouring to places I do not like to go to.
Kept hugging my pillow wishing it was Ruel...
My baby in my belly was awake...kept making me feel it’s wonderful presence.
I then decided to make us listen to music.
Wait, let me fix that.
Ok, Beethoven’s Fur Elise in Solo piano is playing in my ear. The other earphone piece is tucked close to my belly.
Oh, by the way, I remembered the smell of toasted bread in the cool morning air...I remember with a tinge of longing and wishful thinking that my taste will be back to normal. I did not really enjoy my food yesterday. Everything felt awful.
Ok, God’s favour or flavour in my life.
I do not like to lose it.
Nor my daughter’s good regard of me in respect to my relationship with her dad.
Jesus, King of Peace, shalom, grant me the grace to be a good wife and mother.
And Jesus, remembering your wonderful rainbow for me...I trust that it is in you and in you alone that I will find my peace, solace and comfort.
I do not need to look for it in forbidden places.
Jesus, hold me.
Jesus, save me.
Mama Mary, pray for me.
St. Joseph, be our guide and protector.
POST VALENTINE THOUGHTS
I just revived my presence and activities in Facebook. Need to be connected with friends and family. That goal and another was achieved.
Funny.
Anyway, my blogging days are still put on modified hold.
I struggle and resist...for fear where it will lead me again.
I remember the words of Beatrix Potter once again on this same vein.
It is quite an adventure for her every time she starts to write the first word. She is not quite sure where it is going to lead her.
In my case, I know it will be the peeling away of the different layers in my subconscious and am not quite sure, I want to reveal myself so much. Being bare is not really a comforting thought at times.
It requires a certain level of letting go.
Something, I am not so comfortable yet at this point.
How was my day of hearts?
It was really planned and carried out for my daughter.
We prepared and planned out how we are going to decorate our four season wall and gallery.
We had our long overdue pampering spa.
Thanks to the presence of my helpful neighbour, it was carried out. She did most of the preparations. She prepared the oatmeal mask with Marina bothering her to get her hand on separating the egg. Then she prepared the carrot mask. Then the Aloe Vera was pounded into a sticky paste consistency for the hair.
Mari’s request of sweetened banana was ready to cap our self care afternoon.
It was fun.
The laptop was taking care of downloading the Movie time videos. West Side Story and The Mirror has Two Faces.
Hmm...it was somehow taking so much time. Making me suspect a terrible slowdown in our internet connection.
Oh, there I hear the wonderful sounds of bird chirping as they go about their early morning food search as the sky turns bright slowly.
I see that the sky is overcast but not grey.
Ok, desk lamp can rest now.
Mari and her dad did not really enjoy the musical and in the last few minutes of the movie requested for the other movie instead.
Of course, democracy won.
I was not ready for a marathon but gave in.
Thus at almost 2am I was grinning and laughing with the amusing romantic comedy of Barbra Streisand. It never seems to make me laugh and tingle with satisfaction each time I watch it.
Ruel kept putting comments on YM which made it doubly fun.
Something which satisfies me so much.
Words, reading and communication is indeed very important to me.
It is a life sustaining blood that makes my life vibrant and full of color.
In retrospect, living for others is the answer to sadness and loneliness.
I put in a full measure of effort and planning for the day to be extra special for my daughter with her dad far from us.
It was nice to hear her greet me the day after with “Happy Valentines Mama,” with a tone of satisfaction in her still sleepy voice.
And we finally finished our Four Season gallery. Our theme is Trees of Life. Heart bearing in the different seasons.
Up on the wall, I decided that it requires more color.
We will insert it in today’s activities.
Ok now, I see that my favourite building in my view is being touched by golden rays now. Just what I have been waiting for.
I now know where the exact location of the building is. It is in the A Venue vicinity along Makati Ave. It is my rainbow building of an inspiration and connection.
Oh, we got a special treat as we got to our room Valentines evening...a magnificent fireworks display was our treat. It was really spectacular. I wonder next where it was originating from...but am content that it was afforded us that special evening. Ruel was so happy he shared in this experience even only via webcam.
It is past 630 in the morning and I wonder if I am going to publish this or not. Hmm..will see.
Monday, February 21, 2011
Simple Abundance, Less is more.
It is almost play time for my little lady. But, she has books to tackle yet. We are on the final stretch before finals. Me too...I am trying to move heaven and earth for the grace and the strength to be able to finish all my requirements before my own finals.
My daughter and my own distance education for a certificate course is really quite a tall order. In between trying to grow this baby in my belly so that by the stork’s date...we are all ready to greet one another.
This day started with quite a bang. It somehow made me face some issues I wanted to sweep under the rug so to speak. But..had to face it.
Then...some Godly appointments...( calls and situations requiring my attentions not necessarily my desired plan.)
Another idea has spawned itself in my mind that has snatched away the precious ZZZ from my regular afternoon nap.
I reach for the HP notebook and here I am typing away another resolve.
I plan to put down my thoughts (again) on print as I review another jewel in my humble collection of books.
Sarah Ban Breathnach book, Simple Abundance.
I have had it for 21 years already and it has truly been a source of comfort and joy as I attain some sort of balance from my out of space and body hurtling experiences as I go through each day and try to sew body and soul together.
Her foreword explains why or how she wrote this book.
Let me muse on some of her evocative lines.
She starts with a quote from Margaret Young: “ Often people attempt to live their lives backwards: they try to have more things, or more money, in order to do more of what they want so that they will be happier. The way it actually works is the reverse. You must first be who you really are, then do what you need to do in order to have what you want.”
I remember a line, “ Do what you need to do, so you can do what you want to do later on.”
I think I heard this on Oprah’s movie clip of her own production of The Color of Purple.
Somehow, I have been repeating this to my daughter as I try to train her in delaying gratification. First things first. Then later, maybe later, the wants will come when the needs will be fully satisfied.
Example, I need to save first before spending. Contrary to popular plastic economy practice is buy now pay later.
Truly rich merchants especially the Chinese live by this until now. Paying cash is better than credit. In the long term, you pay more. Less savings. More stress.
Six practical , creative and spiritual principles are being encouraged to reflect and focus on as you try to rid your life of what is not working and focus on those that are:
GRATITUDE
SIMPLICITY
ORDER
HARMONY
BEAUTY
JOY
Some checks and balances to/ for a woman to live by her own lights and not by others definitions of what if’s and what should.
Author assures that as one journeys in a safari to discover one’s authenticity and creativity, one’s lifestyle of painful existence will be transformed into moment to moment states of grace and contentment.
BAD HAIR DAY
MOOD SWINGS
EXCRUCIATING DEADLINES
OVERDRAWN BANK ACCOUNTS
DIRTY FLOORS
GROCERY SHOPPING
EXHAUSTION
ILLNESS
NOTHING TO WEAR
UNEXPECTED COMPANY
FINAL 15 POUND
All will be sources of reflection, revelation and reconnection to one’s spirit, as one gets adept to spin straw into gold or instinctively know what to do with a few loaves and fishes, the author confidently guarantees.
21 years and counting as I achieve a zen like existence of truly being alive and sublime with this book’s assistance.
Cross my heart and fingers.
My daughter and my own distance education for a certificate course is really quite a tall order. In between trying to grow this baby in my belly so that by the stork’s date...we are all ready to greet one another.
This day started with quite a bang. It somehow made me face some issues I wanted to sweep under the rug so to speak. But..had to face it.
Then...some Godly appointments...( calls and situations requiring my attentions not necessarily my desired plan.)
Another idea has spawned itself in my mind that has snatched away the precious ZZZ from my regular afternoon nap.
I reach for the HP notebook and here I am typing away another resolve.
I plan to put down my thoughts (again) on print as I review another jewel in my humble collection of books.
Sarah Ban Breathnach book, Simple Abundance.
I have had it for 21 years already and it has truly been a source of comfort and joy as I attain some sort of balance from my out of space and body hurtling experiences as I go through each day and try to sew body and soul together.
Her foreword explains why or how she wrote this book.
Let me muse on some of her evocative lines.
She starts with a quote from Margaret Young: “ Often people attempt to live their lives backwards: they try to have more things, or more money, in order to do more of what they want so that they will be happier. The way it actually works is the reverse. You must first be who you really are, then do what you need to do in order to have what you want.”
I remember a line, “ Do what you need to do, so you can do what you want to do later on.”
I think I heard this on Oprah’s movie clip of her own production of The Color of Purple.
Somehow, I have been repeating this to my daughter as I try to train her in delaying gratification. First things first. Then later, maybe later, the wants will come when the needs will be fully satisfied.
Example, I need to save first before spending. Contrary to popular plastic economy practice is buy now pay later.
Truly rich merchants especially the Chinese live by this until now. Paying cash is better than credit. In the long term, you pay more. Less savings. More stress.
Six practical , creative and spiritual principles are being encouraged to reflect and focus on as you try to rid your life of what is not working and focus on those that are:
GRATITUDE
SIMPLICITY
ORDER
HARMONY
BEAUTY
JOY
Some checks and balances to/ for a woman to live by her own lights and not by others definitions of what if’s and what should.
Author assures that as one journeys in a safari to discover one’s authenticity and creativity, one’s lifestyle of painful existence will be transformed into moment to moment states of grace and contentment.
BAD HAIR DAY
MOOD SWINGS
EXCRUCIATING DEADLINES
OVERDRAWN BANK ACCOUNTS
DIRTY FLOORS
GROCERY SHOPPING
EXHAUSTION
ILLNESS
NOTHING TO WEAR
UNEXPECTED COMPANY
FINAL 15 POUND
All will be sources of reflection, revelation and reconnection to one’s spirit, as one gets adept to spin straw into gold or instinctively know what to do with a few loaves and fishes, the author confidently guarantees.
21 years and counting as I achieve a zen like existence of truly being alive and sublime with this book’s assistance.
Cross my heart and fingers.
Feb.12,2011 Kinks in the System
Feb.12,2011
2:55pm.
Let us start with how I look right now. My hair is like a lions mane curling unruly around my head begging for a comb to run it’s fine teeth through it...hoping to smoothen out the kinks and curls that go whichever direction they wish to.
I want to rest and sleep, but it has abandoned me many times as I have thoughts running to directions I wish it not to go.
My school deadline to submit my second paper before final exams is today and yet...I cannot budge.
I just had a spat with my long distance hubby who is busy preparing for his new love, tennis.
I wanted to chat with him online to share him my thoughts like a sounding board so I can somehow find coherence in several issues snagging my heart and snatching away my peace.
Owing to the time difference, I roused him from his sleep and he was not yet in the mood to talk...so I resorted to being hurt...and feeling really so lonesome and sad...since something like these issues can be easily resolved just by one big bear hug from him.
I cannot hug myself enough to feel that warm tingling feeling inside that can light me up like an incandescent bulb energized to last me another day or two.
I have been sniffing away the runny nose that has been the result of tears continuously streaming down my swollen cheeks and Rudolph Red snout.
I have been stopping myself from posting my thoughts online via facebook lest my uncensored thoughts and feelings will reveal so much more than I can afford to at this time.
I have actually been on abstinence from facebook cause it is somehow disturbing my peace so much. Distancing is my best ally to maintaining my balance and harmony.
I was kinda amused to know that Michelle Obama has not allowed her children to be part of Facebook. Something quite extraordinary being the most social networking site available...I wonder what varied responses and comments this might elicit.
Now...I am getting more calm as I type...not really knowing where this will lead me. But the calming effect of typing away the black keyboard of this notebook is quite reassuring and hypnotic. I feel a bit sleepy too.
Top of the list bothering thought:
Last thought before the zzzzz and the first thought upon rising...why? I cannot seem to fathom. I have mustered brainwashing affirmations to ward away thoughts from lingering or detouring to that direction, but, it is still there.
What to do? Heaven knows.
The dreams are so vivid as if real. The stroking of the hand as if in a restless assurance that, yes, I take you and want to be an essential part of your life. Dark brown over ivory whiteness.
Ok, I think I feel dreamy enough now with that thought. Let me catch a few more winks to refuel my system to finally submit my paper before the clock strikes 12 and out.
2:55pm.
Let us start with how I look right now. My hair is like a lions mane curling unruly around my head begging for a comb to run it’s fine teeth through it...hoping to smoothen out the kinks and curls that go whichever direction they wish to.
I want to rest and sleep, but it has abandoned me many times as I have thoughts running to directions I wish it not to go.
My school deadline to submit my second paper before final exams is today and yet...I cannot budge.
I just had a spat with my long distance hubby who is busy preparing for his new love, tennis.
I wanted to chat with him online to share him my thoughts like a sounding board so I can somehow find coherence in several issues snagging my heart and snatching away my peace.
Owing to the time difference, I roused him from his sleep and he was not yet in the mood to talk...so I resorted to being hurt...and feeling really so lonesome and sad...since something like these issues can be easily resolved just by one big bear hug from him.
I cannot hug myself enough to feel that warm tingling feeling inside that can light me up like an incandescent bulb energized to last me another day or two.
I have been sniffing away the runny nose that has been the result of tears continuously streaming down my swollen cheeks and Rudolph Red snout.
I have been stopping myself from posting my thoughts online via facebook lest my uncensored thoughts and feelings will reveal so much more than I can afford to at this time.
I have actually been on abstinence from facebook cause it is somehow disturbing my peace so much. Distancing is my best ally to maintaining my balance and harmony.
I was kinda amused to know that Michelle Obama has not allowed her children to be part of Facebook. Something quite extraordinary being the most social networking site available...I wonder what varied responses and comments this might elicit.
Now...I am getting more calm as I type...not really knowing where this will lead me. But the calming effect of typing away the black keyboard of this notebook is quite reassuring and hypnotic. I feel a bit sleepy too.
Top of the list bothering thought:
Last thought before the zzzzz and the first thought upon rising...why? I cannot seem to fathom. I have mustered brainwashing affirmations to ward away thoughts from lingering or detouring to that direction, but, it is still there.
What to do? Heaven knows.
The dreams are so vivid as if real. The stroking of the hand as if in a restless assurance that, yes, I take you and want to be an essential part of your life. Dark brown over ivory whiteness.
Ok, I think I feel dreamy enough now with that thought. Let me catch a few more winks to refuel my system to finally submit my paper before the clock strikes 12 and out.
Friday, November 5, 2010
Meditation on Fidelity
November 5,2010
5:33a.m.
Arghhhh…I woke up so early again.
I kept hugging and hugging my pillow hoping to feel it breathe and for it to hug me back.
I miss my human pillow. I long to bury my head under his arms while he cradles me.
I miss my daily dose of 100 hugs.
Tossing and turning was not helping so I reached for the reading lamp and got my book.
A long walk to forever.
Hmmm…very romantic and quite disturbing.Next.
A Meditation on Fidelity.
Ok…this is more like my cup of tea this morning.
I see the dark heavy grey clouds outside my window. White patches tell me the golden rays are coming out soon…hoping to get sunny kissess from the heavens.
Why am I so alive from 3am to 8am and the rest of the day…I want to puke or just bury my head among the pillows?
Someone just gave me a glowing compliment on my penned thoughts. I want to say likewise and I think you should do more of it as well.
Page 32-36 of The Chain of Love, Essays for Daily Living by Joseph Galdon SJ.
The problem with commitments, as we all know so well, is not making them., but keeping them. We make a hundred commitments, but how many of them do we really keep? It’s fidelity that causes all the problems and all the heartaches in life. Carmen Caltagirone ( Friendship as Sacrament) says that we live in an “era of broken promises, forgotten commitments and failed relationships.” I don’t know what the statistics are on broken marriages in the Philippines. We don’t keep those statistics. I guess, because we are afraid to admit that there are so many broken marriages ( or at least separated or polygamous couples) in our country. I see so much evidence of those broken marriages in the young people I meet in school, on retreats and in counselling situations. Their stories can break your heart sometimes. There is nothing more tragic than a young teenager who is trying to convince himself ( and others) that it really doesn’t matter if his father ( or his mother) has another family and has half brothers and sisters whom he has never met.
Well, I guess, since this book was printed 1993 statistics then would be prettier than now. With the OFW demand…maybe it has more than quadrupled.
Broken marriages are the most obvious debris of infidelity in our society. But there is also much infidelity in friendship as well. I was very sad the other day when a young teenager told me that she didn’t have any friends at all. “ you can’t trust them.” She said. “ Friends are always going to betray you and hurt you.” No wonder Simon and Garfunkel sing about being a rock and an island. “ if I had never loved, I never would have cried.” That’s a sad commentary about friendship in our modern world. It’s almost as sad as Simon and Garfunkel’s other son about the “ Sounds of Silence” “ Take my hand that I might reach you. Hear my words that I might teach you. But my words, like silent raindrops, fell and echoed in the well of silence.” Shattered friendships are almost as sad as broken marriages in a world that doesn’t put much value on fidelity.
Tsk tsk…for the Divorce proponents in the halls of our Congress…maybe this can easily be translated into freedom. But…if you look at the ole big book…the top 10 rules does not say explicitly. But the last few laws tell you not to lust too much in flesh and with the eyes.
There are 10 more short and very insightful paragraphs..I wanna skip them and zero in the line” When you are having trouble with fidelity that means you are having trouble with a person.”It continues” Fidelity, therefore is essentially a response to the commitment of the other to me.”
The other…sounds very familiar. Someone just mentioned that term to me and never got to clear my confusion.
It continues:” It must be provoked by the love of the other for me.”
Him or you?
Furthermore: “ Only then do I respond with fidelity to the other love for that I have seen in the other person.”
Him or you? Hahaha, my thoughts are getting more convoluted. With intent or not, only God knows.
This last part is really quite funny: “ I laughed because it was pretty hard to conceive of a commitment that was a response to a love that had shown itself in a few days. It was attraction, perhaps, infatuation, maybe, or indigestion that accounted for the butterflies in her stomach, but certainly not a commitment that could support fidelity.”
I found this part really hilarious.
Infanticipation has symptoms so similar to butterflies and indigestion. Frequent passing gas is a relief and a blessing. I wonder why it happens, when I do not eat much food.
Hmmmm….
I see the light outside much brighter now…But the light grey overcast cloud do not permit the wonderful sun rays to reach me today. That is alright. I accept that some things have to be this way.
But I remain restless and desirous in my state of utter undesirablity.
And look at 6:21 am the horizon outside my window is bursting with a spectacular shade of gold, basking my working area with a golden calm while I get kissed a million times that it makes me warm and tingle inside and out.
Just maybe like if I got my first real one from my childhood crush. (wink!wink!)
5:33a.m.
Arghhhh…I woke up so early again.
I kept hugging and hugging my pillow hoping to feel it breathe and for it to hug me back.
I miss my human pillow. I long to bury my head under his arms while he cradles me.
I miss my daily dose of 100 hugs.
Tossing and turning was not helping so I reached for the reading lamp and got my book.
A long walk to forever.
Hmmm…very romantic and quite disturbing.Next.
A Meditation on Fidelity.
Ok…this is more like my cup of tea this morning.
I see the dark heavy grey clouds outside my window. White patches tell me the golden rays are coming out soon…hoping to get sunny kissess from the heavens.
Why am I so alive from 3am to 8am and the rest of the day…I want to puke or just bury my head among the pillows?
Someone just gave me a glowing compliment on my penned thoughts. I want to say likewise and I think you should do more of it as well.
Page 32-36 of The Chain of Love, Essays for Daily Living by Joseph Galdon SJ.
The problem with commitments, as we all know so well, is not making them., but keeping them. We make a hundred commitments, but how many of them do we really keep? It’s fidelity that causes all the problems and all the heartaches in life. Carmen Caltagirone ( Friendship as Sacrament) says that we live in an “era of broken promises, forgotten commitments and failed relationships.” I don’t know what the statistics are on broken marriages in the Philippines. We don’t keep those statistics. I guess, because we are afraid to admit that there are so many broken marriages ( or at least separated or polygamous couples) in our country. I see so much evidence of those broken marriages in the young people I meet in school, on retreats and in counselling situations. Their stories can break your heart sometimes. There is nothing more tragic than a young teenager who is trying to convince himself ( and others) that it really doesn’t matter if his father ( or his mother) has another family and has half brothers and sisters whom he has never met.
Well, I guess, since this book was printed 1993 statistics then would be prettier than now. With the OFW demand…maybe it has more than quadrupled.
Broken marriages are the most obvious debris of infidelity in our society. But there is also much infidelity in friendship as well. I was very sad the other day when a young teenager told me that she didn’t have any friends at all. “ you can’t trust them.” She said. “ Friends are always going to betray you and hurt you.” No wonder Simon and Garfunkel sing about being a rock and an island. “ if I had never loved, I never would have cried.” That’s a sad commentary about friendship in our modern world. It’s almost as sad as Simon and Garfunkel’s other son about the “ Sounds of Silence” “ Take my hand that I might reach you. Hear my words that I might teach you. But my words, like silent raindrops, fell and echoed in the well of silence.” Shattered friendships are almost as sad as broken marriages in a world that doesn’t put much value on fidelity.
Tsk tsk…for the Divorce proponents in the halls of our Congress…maybe this can easily be translated into freedom. But…if you look at the ole big book…the top 10 rules does not say explicitly. But the last few laws tell you not to lust too much in flesh and with the eyes.
There are 10 more short and very insightful paragraphs..I wanna skip them and zero in the line” When you are having trouble with fidelity that means you are having trouble with a person.”It continues” Fidelity, therefore is essentially a response to the commitment of the other to me.”
The other…sounds very familiar. Someone just mentioned that term to me and never got to clear my confusion.
It continues:” It must be provoked by the love of the other for me.”
Him or you?
Furthermore: “ Only then do I respond with fidelity to the other love for that I have seen in the other person.”
Him or you? Hahaha, my thoughts are getting more convoluted. With intent or not, only God knows.
This last part is really quite funny: “ I laughed because it was pretty hard to conceive of a commitment that was a response to a love that had shown itself in a few days. It was attraction, perhaps, infatuation, maybe, or indigestion that accounted for the butterflies in her stomach, but certainly not a commitment that could support fidelity.”
I found this part really hilarious.
Infanticipation has symptoms so similar to butterflies and indigestion. Frequent passing gas is a relief and a blessing. I wonder why it happens, when I do not eat much food.
Hmmmm….
I see the light outside much brighter now…But the light grey overcast cloud do not permit the wonderful sun rays to reach me today. That is alright. I accept that some things have to be this way.
But I remain restless and desirous in my state of utter undesirablity.
And look at 6:21 am the horizon outside my window is bursting with a spectacular shade of gold, basking my working area with a golden calm while I get kissed a million times that it makes me warm and tingle inside and out.
Just maybe like if I got my first real one from my childhood crush. (wink!wink!)
Wednesday, November 3, 2010
FOR ADULTS ONLY
November 3,2010
7:11am.
For the past 3 days, I have been roused from bed very early in the morning. Some people and I also believe that it is a call to prayer.
This morning, as the sun is gloriously streaming into this east window , I thought of checking out a very old book of mine called The Chain of Love, Essay for Daily Living by Joseph A. Galdon SJ.
I was searching for something that really jumped out of the page when I first read it.
Since I could not locate it, I browsed the table of contents and this article really caught my attention. It is called FOR ADULTS ONLY. I will copy it to digest it fully as a gesture of reflection and maybe will not help adding my comments.
Sister Anselm told us that we should never go to movies that were classified “ For Adults Only.” She said we should only go to movies that were classified GP- General Patronage, and were OK for children. I could never figure out what the difference was between children and adults, except that everyone among us second graders wanted to go to movies For Adults Only, and no one ever wanted to go to the GP movies. But then I grew up a little bit and I began to understand the difference between children and adults. Judith Viorst summarized a lot of those differences in a very fine article in “Redbook” in 1987.
We grow up all our lives, she wrote, and we grow up in all kinds of ways. Some of our growth is fast and some of it is slow, sometimes painfully slow. Cardinal Newman wrote in one of his essays that everything that is alive must grow, and when something stops growing we know that it is dead. We may be adults in some parts of our lives, and still be like little children in other apects of our lives. I know a man who is the greatest business man in the world. He is very successful in the office, but he isn’t a very good husband and he doesn’t know how to show affection for his children when they need it from him.
The bad news about being an adult is that life isn’t fair. No matter how you twist it and turn it and try to finagle with it, life just isn’t fair and it is never going to be so. The big question in adult life isn’t “ Why me? It is , or should be ,” Why not me?” The other touchy part about being an adult is that no matter how nice and charming and bright you are,not everyone you meet is going to approve of what you are or what you do, or love you, or even like you. When you are an adult you begin to realize that from time to time it is going to rain in your parade, and that now and then, no matter how careful you try to be, you are going to do something unbelievably stupid. That is the bad news about being an adult.
How stupid can stupid ever be? Knowing that you are headed for destruction/trouble/dissaster, and you still will proceed?
The good news is that unless you are hanging around with some really stupid and mean people, no one but you will every remember the dumb things that you have ever done. The other good news about being an adult is that you do not have to have an opinion on everything, and that almost all the bad stuff in life is survivable. We do get over the bad things, and sometimes we even discover- eventually- that a lot of the bad things in life have even been useful. When you become an adult you begin to realize that you are not nearly as wonderful as you hoped you would be.
Very true especially for low self esteemed people who do not have a positive perception of themselves. Here Here! But realistically, 41 can never be 23 again.
..but you are not nearly as terrible as you feared you would be. Being an adult isn’t really too bad. I have never met an adult who, if he had a choice, would want to go back and be a child again. I liked Sister Anselm a lot,but I don’t think I would want to go back and be a second grader again. I wouldn’t want to be as selfish as I was in second grade or as proud and childish as I was then.
Hmmmm….struck a chord. Deep. My realization, one cannot just discard a very important person in once life, because another one comes along with a very attractive package.
When we’re adults we aren’t as self centered as we used to be. We’re not so judgemental- or just plain dumb- as we were when we were little kids. We aren’t as self righteous as we used to be, and we have learned to tell the difference between the tinsel and the fluff, between the real and the fake, between the important and non important. An adult knows about real friendship and what is worth chasing after in life. Growing up is tough, but it does bring a lot of rewards. We aren’t as self pitying as we used to be, and we know better what we like, in work, in play, in people and in life.
Ok, if I be a real friend in this particular situation I am faced with, I shall not pity too much. I shall call the truth by name and evil as I see it coming.
Judith Viorst has a good examination of conscience for adults in her Redbook article. She says that you are an adult with your own parents when you start looking at them, not just as parents, but also as real people, with dreams and needs and fears and lives of their own. You are an adult with your parents when you can forgive them for what you feel they did not give you and can start really feeling grateful for what you did get from them. When your parents tell you what to do( Imagine! You’re married and have kids of your own and they are still telling you what to do!) do you foam at the mouth and get totally furious at them, feel that you have no choice except to obey, or listen very politely and kindly to what they have to say, and then go and make your own decision?
As to the frothing and foaming, not much anymore, I am able to muster a good smile and go my way.
When you and your parents go out for dinner in a nice restaurant, do you still expect them to pay the bill??? Viorst says that if you are an adult, you already know the answers to these questions, and if you are not an adult, being told the answers won’t help very much.
Hmmmm…thus we should read the road sign, clearly enough and early on. No Text/sex while driving.
You can’t give the knife that he wants to play with. You have to say no if you love him and are Viorst also says that you are an adult with your child if you know how to set limits, for yourself and for your child. As a parent you are responsible for your kid’s morals, manners, health and well being. That means that, without being a bully or a fascist, or one of those imperialist that our teenagers are always talking about, you are allowed and sometimes obliged to say to your kids : “ I don’t care how they do it in Marin’s family. This is the way we do it in our family. When you are a parent yourself, you’’ be able to do it your way. But in the meantime, I expect you to do it our way. I’ve already explained what I want you to do and why, so not you have to stop arguing and just do it. And you have to di it because I said so. You have to do it and I don’t have to to do it because you are the kid and I am the adult.”a good parent and adult. One of the most foolish definitions of love I’ve heard from a teenager on a retreat one time. She said that Love means always to say Yes. When she grows up and becomes an adult, she will realize that love very often means saying No, quite firmly and quite definitely.
I will not include the last paragraph on page 58. Because I want to end in NO. Firmly and definitely.
NOTE: BOLD LETTERS ARE TAKEN DIRECTLY FROM BOOK, REST ARE MY THOUGHTS ADDED.
7:11am.
For the past 3 days, I have been roused from bed very early in the morning. Some people and I also believe that it is a call to prayer.
This morning, as the sun is gloriously streaming into this east window , I thought of checking out a very old book of mine called The Chain of Love, Essay for Daily Living by Joseph A. Galdon SJ.
I was searching for something that really jumped out of the page when I first read it.
Since I could not locate it, I browsed the table of contents and this article really caught my attention. It is called FOR ADULTS ONLY. I will copy it to digest it fully as a gesture of reflection and maybe will not help adding my comments.
Sister Anselm told us that we should never go to movies that were classified “ For Adults Only.” She said we should only go to movies that were classified GP- General Patronage, and were OK for children. I could never figure out what the difference was between children and adults, except that everyone among us second graders wanted to go to movies For Adults Only, and no one ever wanted to go to the GP movies. But then I grew up a little bit and I began to understand the difference between children and adults. Judith Viorst summarized a lot of those differences in a very fine article in “Redbook” in 1987.
We grow up all our lives, she wrote, and we grow up in all kinds of ways. Some of our growth is fast and some of it is slow, sometimes painfully slow. Cardinal Newman wrote in one of his essays that everything that is alive must grow, and when something stops growing we know that it is dead. We may be adults in some parts of our lives, and still be like little children in other apects of our lives. I know a man who is the greatest business man in the world. He is very successful in the office, but he isn’t a very good husband and he doesn’t know how to show affection for his children when they need it from him.
The bad news about being an adult is that life isn’t fair. No matter how you twist it and turn it and try to finagle with it, life just isn’t fair and it is never going to be so. The big question in adult life isn’t “ Why me? It is , or should be ,” Why not me?” The other touchy part about being an adult is that no matter how nice and charming and bright you are,not everyone you meet is going to approve of what you are or what you do, or love you, or even like you. When you are an adult you begin to realize that from time to time it is going to rain in your parade, and that now and then, no matter how careful you try to be, you are going to do something unbelievably stupid. That is the bad news about being an adult.
How stupid can stupid ever be? Knowing that you are headed for destruction/trouble/dissaster, and you still will proceed?
The good news is that unless you are hanging around with some really stupid and mean people, no one but you will every remember the dumb things that you have ever done. The other good news about being an adult is that you do not have to have an opinion on everything, and that almost all the bad stuff in life is survivable. We do get over the bad things, and sometimes we even discover- eventually- that a lot of the bad things in life have even been useful. When you become an adult you begin to realize that you are not nearly as wonderful as you hoped you would be.
Very true especially for low self esteemed people who do not have a positive perception of themselves. Here Here! But realistically, 41 can never be 23 again.
..but you are not nearly as terrible as you feared you would be. Being an adult isn’t really too bad. I have never met an adult who, if he had a choice, would want to go back and be a child again. I liked Sister Anselm a lot,but I don’t think I would want to go back and be a second grader again. I wouldn’t want to be as selfish as I was in second grade or as proud and childish as I was then.
Hmmmm….struck a chord. Deep. My realization, one cannot just discard a very important person in once life, because another one comes along with a very attractive package.
When we’re adults we aren’t as self centered as we used to be. We’re not so judgemental- or just plain dumb- as we were when we were little kids. We aren’t as self righteous as we used to be, and we have learned to tell the difference between the tinsel and the fluff, between the real and the fake, between the important and non important. An adult knows about real friendship and what is worth chasing after in life. Growing up is tough, but it does bring a lot of rewards. We aren’t as self pitying as we used to be, and we know better what we like, in work, in play, in people and in life.
Ok, if I be a real friend in this particular situation I am faced with, I shall not pity too much. I shall call the truth by name and evil as I see it coming.
Judith Viorst has a good examination of conscience for adults in her Redbook article. She says that you are an adult with your own parents when you start looking at them, not just as parents, but also as real people, with dreams and needs and fears and lives of their own. You are an adult with your parents when you can forgive them for what you feel they did not give you and can start really feeling grateful for what you did get from them. When your parents tell you what to do( Imagine! You’re married and have kids of your own and they are still telling you what to do!) do you foam at the mouth and get totally furious at them, feel that you have no choice except to obey, or listen very politely and kindly to what they have to say, and then go and make your own decision?
As to the frothing and foaming, not much anymore, I am able to muster a good smile and go my way.
When you and your parents go out for dinner in a nice restaurant, do you still expect them to pay the bill??? Viorst says that if you are an adult, you already know the answers to these questions, and if you are not an adult, being told the answers won’t help very much.
Hmmmm…thus we should read the road sign, clearly enough and early on. No Text/sex while driving.
You can’t give the knife that he wants to play with. You have to say no if you love him and are Viorst also says that you are an adult with your child if you know how to set limits, for yourself and for your child. As a parent you are responsible for your kid’s morals, manners, health and well being. That means that, without being a bully or a fascist, or one of those imperialist that our teenagers are always talking about, you are allowed and sometimes obliged to say to your kids : “ I don’t care how they do it in Marin’s family. This is the way we do it in our family. When you are a parent yourself, you’’ be able to do it your way. But in the meantime, I expect you to do it our way. I’ve already explained what I want you to do and why, so not you have to stop arguing and just do it. And you have to di it because I said so. You have to do it and I don’t have to to do it because you are the kid and I am the adult.”a good parent and adult. One of the most foolish definitions of love I’ve heard from a teenager on a retreat one time. She said that Love means always to say Yes. When she grows up and becomes an adult, she will realize that love very often means saying No, quite firmly and quite definitely.
I will not include the last paragraph on page 58. Because I want to end in NO. Firmly and definitely.
NOTE: BOLD LETTERS ARE TAKEN DIRECTLY FROM BOOK, REST ARE MY THOUGHTS ADDED.
Thursday, October 14, 2010
3 MONTHS ABSTINENCE
Hohoho!
We are now in the "ber"months and I have not blogged for 3 whole months.
Hmmm....my daughter asked me just the other night..why not?
Anyway...
I AM PREGNANT.5 weeks and counting.The medical article calls my baby a .28cm BLASTOCYST...for whatever it is called..I call it MY BLESSING. MY GOD'S GIFT.
I did an online calculator of the gender based on 600 years of Chinese lunar studies...and it tells me it is going to be a boy.
Well, I entrust that in the Lord's hand. Whatever it will be ,so long it is healthy and bouncing and cuddly in Jesus mighty name.
The only thing I did to try to ensure my baby's gender is to consume Alkaline water to stabilize my PH levels.
So, let us see how this goes by June of next year.
It was fun to review my entries.
I plan to join a contest soon, so I gotta get me the book needed to participate in it and will see how it fares.
Wish me luck and God's graces.
God is sooooooooooooo good....
My hubby and little girl are so happpy that I am pregnant.
We are now in the "ber"months and I have not blogged for 3 whole months.
Hmmm....my daughter asked me just the other night..why not?
Anyway...
I AM PREGNANT.5 weeks and counting.The medical article calls my baby a .28cm BLASTOCYST...for whatever it is called..I call it MY BLESSING. MY GOD'S GIFT.
I did an online calculator of the gender based on 600 years of Chinese lunar studies...and it tells me it is going to be a boy.
Well, I entrust that in the Lord's hand. Whatever it will be ,so long it is healthy and bouncing and cuddly in Jesus mighty name.
The only thing I did to try to ensure my baby's gender is to consume Alkaline water to stabilize my PH levels.
So, let us see how this goes by June of next year.
It was fun to review my entries.
I plan to join a contest soon, so I gotta get me the book needed to participate in it and will see how it fares.
Wish me luck and God's graces.
God is sooooooooooooo good....
My hubby and little girl are so happpy that I am pregnant.
Saturday, August 7, 2010
Some Guys Have All The Luck...Some Guys...
Yesterday, my daughter and I were appreciating this Rod Stewart song while she was making her No Smoking Poster. She said: Mama that is a nice song. I said, yeah. I told her, Rod Stewart also sings the: Have I told you lately..song.She seemed to have forgotten. I already told her about it before.
Anyway...my thoughts were kinda glued to the lines:
Some guys have all the luck,
Some guys have all the pain,
Some guys do nothing but complain.
Well...Bishop Luis Tagle, in todays mass celebrating Christs Transfiguration also touched on this last line: People who are full of problems and complaints.
Hmmm....
I hope..I am not one of those.
But, admittedly, I can really be caught up with emotions now and then..especially if I am trying to deal with meaness from certain people.
You now, just downright meaness.
Another inspirational writer in the Oprah series..says that Mean people suck...but they should be pitied first and foremost since Mean people are hurting people that is why they easily hurt others as a defense mechanism of some sort.
They are looking at others with glasses of being victims.
They want to change the tables by being the perceived victors with the upper hand when they achieve an offensive stance..which turns out to really be very offensive.
Hmmm...
The article further suggest ways on treating this budding bullies.
One most effective way to deal with them, is not to deal with them at all.
I tried it just the other day...
It worked...
This person, buckled and became a bit nicer.
But...all because, it had an ulterior motive.
My next move....just continue to keep the distance.
Well, this past week saw me being dowm with something that made me so dizzy with splitting headaches.
It has been almost 2 weeks now that I have not made any reflections.
Well, last week was some kinda stormy week. Literally and figuratively.
Finally the monthly period came with much of a fuss...hormonally speaking.
I was like Mt. Pinatubo almost about the blow my top.
I claim order and peace in this coming week.
Marina and I are excited to start another home school quarter kicking off with preparations for the Linggo ng Wika.
I am so eager to choreograph a traditional Southern Philippines dance. I am almost done with her costume.
The bead work would have to be put on hold yet.
I have yet to compute and submit her grades.
Guide her through several projects and science experiments yet.
Yesiree!
We can do this!
With God's wonderful blessing and graces..Who needs luck!
After all, luck happens when preparation and opportunity meet.
Anyway...my thoughts were kinda glued to the lines:
Some guys have all the luck,
Some guys have all the pain,
Some guys do nothing but complain.
Well...Bishop Luis Tagle, in todays mass celebrating Christs Transfiguration also touched on this last line: People who are full of problems and complaints.
Hmmm....
I hope..I am not one of those.
But, admittedly, I can really be caught up with emotions now and then..especially if I am trying to deal with meaness from certain people.
You now, just downright meaness.
Another inspirational writer in the Oprah series..says that Mean people suck...but they should be pitied first and foremost since Mean people are hurting people that is why they easily hurt others as a defense mechanism of some sort.
They are looking at others with glasses of being victims.
They want to change the tables by being the perceived victors with the upper hand when they achieve an offensive stance..which turns out to really be very offensive.
Hmmm...
The article further suggest ways on treating this budding bullies.
One most effective way to deal with them, is not to deal with them at all.
I tried it just the other day...
It worked...
This person, buckled and became a bit nicer.
But...all because, it had an ulterior motive.
My next move....just continue to keep the distance.
Well, this past week saw me being dowm with something that made me so dizzy with splitting headaches.
It has been almost 2 weeks now that I have not made any reflections.
Well, last week was some kinda stormy week. Literally and figuratively.
Finally the monthly period came with much of a fuss...hormonally speaking.
I was like Mt. Pinatubo almost about the blow my top.
I claim order and peace in this coming week.
Marina and I are excited to start another home school quarter kicking off with preparations for the Linggo ng Wika.
I am so eager to choreograph a traditional Southern Philippines dance. I am almost done with her costume.
The bead work would have to be put on hold yet.
I have yet to compute and submit her grades.
Guide her through several projects and science experiments yet.
Yesiree!
We can do this!
With God's wonderful blessing and graces..Who needs luck!
After all, luck happens when preparation and opportunity meet.
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