Many Many LANGUAGES OF LOVE

 

How do you react when you don’t get the things you pray for? Do you question the Lord or do you humbly submit to His will?

Do you ever envy God’s blessings to others? Why?

Were there times when you accused God of being unfair? How did you deal with it? Did you come to a realization of His generosity and justice?

 

Once upon a time, a close relative ( may her soul rest in peace) declared in front of my siblings and parents that I was envious of my baby sister.

 

I was at that time in my mid twenties.

 

It really stung bitterly and seared scars into my psyche because it was lashed out so unexpectedly and so publicly that I was shamed beyond belief.

 

When I was in my early teens, the color of my dress, yellow ,was attached to JEALOUSY as declared to me as being my state.

 

Similarly, it hurt but more with confusion, how can such a beautiful color be attached to such a negative attitude?

 Could I defend myself?

Could I say, No! You are wrong!?

Last Sunday, on my 54^th birthday, after receiving so much  filling-up of my love tank, I  had a struggle in processing my enviousness of someone in my life.

Admittedly, I did harbor ill feelings of being DEFEATED and UNFIT and not GOOD ENOUGH.

 

I know the antidote to this is to simply not compare my life to hers and focus instead on the blessings I just received and continually receive.

 

This was  exactly pointed out to me by an VISTA workplace team mate when I verbalized it to her last Monday and my dear sweet hubby.

 

He said, you wore a bathing suit as well in Fort Lauderdale beach last June, so what is the problem?

 

“ Oh yeah, and I felt so utterly UNAPPEALING!”I exclaimed and  added that I cannot flaunt it in IG! Heaven's no!!!!

 

So, do something my dear!

 

My marching and loving and gentle order to myself today as I count my blessings:

 

1.    Jane dear, spent lunch with us and helped me spruce up the flower bouquet décor by trimming this part and bumping off some bunch of  ”too plastic looking flowers.” She also  baked me a LAVA cake too and gave me a EMOTIONAL MANAGEMENT toy!

2.    Celedonia gave me a wonderful shawl that reminded me of the shawl my two girls gave me that I have not used at all. And her heavenly cooking of DEER MEAT was a welcome treat and we were eating it for 3 days.

3.    Tec gave me this so delicious LA GROTTA lemon cake in a very beautiful color----- YELLOW!!!!

4.    BEL, gave me her so delicious CHEESE CAKE. The girls were in 7^th heaven devouring it.

5.    The gift of prayer and worship with my loving  MFC household group of 2 years.

6.    My friendly neighbors lending me a dozen chairs.

7.    Ruel’s delicious PAPAYA ATSARA which equaled Nanay Linda’s was a winner!

8.    The LECHON HEAD na DAING style!  

     

9.    3pm mass at St. Emile and wore Jane's gift of last year, a beautiful black and silver blazer covered with embroidered design.

10.9pm movie date with the girls and Ruel at Scotia Theater.

11. Joey’s opportunity/project. 7-8pm.

12.The countless greetings from friends and family. The gift of reconciliation and forgiveness.

13.This beautiful Bahay ni San Jose and the grace to be able to fix the  Jane AU$10 room ( in the basement) from the stock piled clutter and is now looking more organized and getting-there-look.

 

 

Thank you Lord Jesus for the many many graces.

Please forgive  and have mercy on me, a sinner.