Thursday, September 12, 2013

" Are You a Big Girl Now Mama?"

Super Sept.12, 2013

It is 11:18am.
Marina is tackling her math problems.
Marcelina is beside me wanting me to keep holding her, touching her while I try to finish this.
The other night, on the first day of my dredging the Pasig River so to speak, at lights off time, after praying with her the Guardian Angel prayer...she asks “ Mommy, are you a big girl now?”
I could not believe how her words have developed into phrases and good sentences in leaps and bounds. Her growth is indeed phenomenal. A lot of people cannot believe she is just  29 months when she speaks.
Anyway, her question really made me seat up figuratively.
I answered, Yes, mommy, is a big girl now.
“ Is Lilli ( complete with tapping of her rib cage) a big girl now?”
Oh, no ( trying to hide my amusement to myself)  Lilli is still a little girl.
“ Is Ate a big girl like mommy?”
No, ate is still  not so a big girl yet, while mama, is a BIG BIG girl already.
Reflectively, mama is not so big in a lot of maybe, mama is still a little girl inside when it comes to trying to forgive big time people who have made her life a taste of hell in this world.

Today’s gospel advises us to forgive...

 But rather, love your enemies and do good to them, and lend expecting nothing back; then your reward will be great and you will be children of the Most High, for he himself is kind to the ungrateful and the wicked. 36 Be merciful, just as also your Father is merciful. 37 Stop judging and you will not be judged. Stop condemning and you will not be condemned. Forgive and you will be forgiven. 38 Give and gifts will be given to you; a good measure, packed together, shaken down, and overflowing, will be poured into your lap. For the measure with which you measure will in return be measured out to you.” ( Luke 6: 35 -38)

I will try to follow this as much as possible...if not, I will try to forgive myself foremost...but, in this case of airing my side of the situation will form part of loving myself back to wholeness...nurturing my mind that cannot forget and ....

What a relief, we had a peanut butter jelly sandwich in brown bread for late breakfast...and  Marina and I heard the signing in tune of my laptop...thought it was weird.
Coming back to it, I realized it shut down by itself. Why and how? I dunno. Temporary   power fluctuation?
Well, I am glad that I saved my word document before getting up.
Ok to be continued tomorrow.
I will end today's blog with the following quote:

"The Sidra tree, growing strong and proud in the harshest of environments, has been a symbol of perseverance and nourishment across the borders of the Arab world. What is the significance of this glorious tree? With its roots bound in the soil of this world and its branches reaching upwards toward perfection, it is a symbol of solidarity and determination; it reminds us that goals of this world are not incompatible with the goals of the spirit."
Her Highness Sheikha Moza bint Nasser
Qatar Foundation Chairperson, at the inauguration of Education City, 13 October 2003

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