Friday, September 14, 2012
Happy Birthday Mom!
It is my mom’s birthday today! I woke up very early with thoughts on her. I looked at either sides of me at my 2 lovely daughters in deep sleep. I remembered my promise...to be even just half of what a good mother my mom was to me to them. How could I ever forget what she did for me? It was 1997. A cyst in my right breast area was oozing blood and something else. Mom was with me processing papers so I could have it operated on. All throughout this going about...she was in a most serious countenance. Then when I had to walk into the operating room theatre...got lost in the billowing thick green curtains, I had to go back out to the waiting room. I felt lost. I felt scared. That is when I caught sight of her. Clutching her rosary, she was in the deepest state of prayer. As I neared her..she opened her eyes slowly and looked at me. Sensing me even when I did not make any sound. She looked at me with such seriousness that made me a bit uneasy. She said, “ Ni, whatever that is, I already asked God to give it to me instead.” All I could muster was a weak, Ma! I wanted to tell her Dont! Take it back Mom! Almost a year after that she was diagnosed with Nasopharynx cancer stage 4. I saw her struggle bravely. She surpassed the time frame set on her. She even told me to hurry up on my wedding date schedule...so she could still be part of it. Funny, our target was January 28,2001. I vacillated. I hesitated. Well, it was her scheduled time to meet her maker. Many , many times, she has made me feel her love for me, now that she is gone physically from us. Telling me how great and powerful a mother’s love is. It can surpass the barrier of death. Giving me no reason not to love my daughters more and more. And to correct them less and less. Over my hot cup of coffee this morning, as I watched my 9 year old go about fussing with her hair..I admired the curve of her calf and her shoes. I said, Mari, your legs remind me of grandma Lily’s legs. Then, I said, looking back, I have no regrets, Mari. I never broke her heart Mari. Silently wishing and praying that ...you know, the same from her. In Jesus mighty name. We can really come to heads and horns with her a lot like a stubborn ram. Oh...just as well, love more. Correct less. Ma, I know, your are enjoying the distant, verdant sunny hills of heaven now. I just want you to know, that I am grateful...thankful, that God gave you to me. I was your Anna Banana. I now know how you felt, when people admired us for our being ourselves...without doing anything at all. I now know, but oftentimes forget....cause now, I am a mom now too. Twice over. Victoria Marina and Ana Marcelina. Mari and Lilli. Thank you Lord for the gift of mothershood. Greatness in simplicity.