11:20PM
I am about to embark again in my nth attempt to become a better me in 30 days or so. Yeah, at almost 50, one would think that I had it all together.
Not quite.
Things seem to be literally and figuratively fraying in the seams. Bulging at the lines and falling apart.
I just recently advised someone who was yelling for help. She was in an all time low.
I could not just say, my emotional roller coaster has been spinning in dizzying speeds, dropping from all time high to lows in split seconds.
Have I conquered my sugar intake? No!
Have I exercised regularly? No!
Have I earned an honest day's wage? No!
Have I realized my bestest self? _______
In a 24 hour....perhaps,only 3 hours of my waking moments!
Well, let me restrain myself just a bit here and count my blessings instead and tell my self that the BLUES will pass. I am so BLESSED TO BE STRESSED.
As I end September I thank my Lord and my Maker for the following blessings:
1. The opportunity to be under one roof with my family in this host country.
2. The regular income of my husband.
3. The opportunity to home school my kids
4. Family and friends who took the time to greet me for my birthday.
5. This beautiful house we call home.
6. The opportunity to write my thoughts down.
7. The many learning opportunities that come along that challenges me to be a better person each day.
8. The chance to correct my wrongs each day as I greet a new day.
9.The love of my husband and daughters
10. The best friend I have in me.
Yes!
I turned a new chapter in my life.
Hopefully, my intent to blog everyday will prove true and worthy.
So, how does it feel to be 48?
I felt hopeful and optimistic.
But then, when I learned that a good friend, who is much younger than I succumbed to heart failure due to several blockages in her arteries on my birthday...it kinda put a dampen on my days.
I suffered from perhaps an anxiety headache from Tuesday night to Wednesday night.
By God's grace come Thursday morning...it was gone.
Praise God!
A new day.
A new lease in life.
I broke my Facebook fast for a few days because I needed to contact my deceased friend's family.
Then, a good ole classmate from elementary greeted me belatedly...and thus, I had to reply.
From one greeting to the next.
I have this irritating habit of having to thank each and every post or greeting.
Anyway, irritating or not, gratitude is never going out of style in my book.
So, here I go again...trying to make sense of life's uncertainties and twists and turns.
This morning, a blog presented itself to me about finding home.
I was trying to wrack my brains on how I got myself subscribed to this lady's blog.
It was funny to trace it back to 2013 June.
Her blog's are still very interesting.
She seems to be making lots of travels and enjoying it so much.
I was comparing her photo of 2013 and her latest...and it seems, she has grown much younger.
Way to go girl!
Kudos!
Today, I had to check out Joy Tanchi Mendoza to get some lift and sure got it.
She reminded me to get my center from my Creator, who has made me lovely because He loves me.
He does not love me because I am lovely...but, I am loved by Him, that is why I am lovely.
I may not be so lovable all of the time...but, I know, His Mercy and Grace will suffice.
